How to Write Your Own Wedding Vows (Even If You’re Not a Writer)
Writing your own wedding vows can feel like the most beautiful — and the most intimidating — part of planning your ceremony. You want to say something heartfelt and meaningful, but also not too cheesy or cliché. You want to be real, not robotic. Romantic, but not over-the-top.
And if you’ve ever said “I’m just not good with words,” trust me — you’re not alone.
The good news? You don’t need to be a poet or a public speaker to write wedding vows that move your partner to happy tears. With a little guidance (and heart), you can craft vows that feel 100% like you.
🧡 Why Writing Your Own Vows Is Totally Worth It
When you write your own vows, you’re doing more than making promises — you’re giving your partner a piece of your heart. It’s your moment to say, “Here’s why I choose you, every day.”
Custom vows:
Make the ceremony more personal and unforgettable
Set the tone for your marriage
Let guests see the love behind your story
Allow you to reflect on your journey and what’s ahead
Whether you're eloping, having a micro-wedding, or planning a backyard bash, personal vows add real magic to your ceremony.
✍️ Step-by-Step: How to Write Wedding Vows That Sound Like You
Let’s break it down into bite-sized steps that even the most self-proclaimed "non-writers" can follow. Here’s how to get started:
🗓 Step 1: Give Yourself Time (Seriously, Don’t Wait!)
Don’t leave your vows for the night before the wedding. Start jotting down thoughts at least 3–4 weeks before your big day. Trust me, having time to reflect makes all the difference.
You don’t have to write a perfect draft right away — just begin gathering ideas, stories, and phrases that feel meaningful.
💭 Step 2: Reflect on Your Relationship
Start by asking yourself a few questions to get your thoughts flowing:
When did you know they were “the one”?
What do you admire most about them?
How have they changed your life?
What’s something they do that always makes you smile?
What are you most excited to do together in the future?
Keep a note in your phone or journal and write down anything that comes to mind — even the silly stuff. Humor is welcome!
📝 Step 3: Choose a Structure or Format
You don’t need to follow a strict script, but having a format helps keep your vows focused and easy to write. Here’s a simple one to try:
1. Start with a short story or memory
Something sweet or funny to hook the listener.
2. Say what you love and admire about your partner
Make it specific and sincere.
3. Make your promises
These can be heartfelt and lighthearted. (i.e., “I promise to always share my fries.”)
4. End with a future hope or final line
A sentence that seals the moment.
💬 Sample Wedding Vow Template
Here’s a fill-in-the-blank style template if you’re totally stuck:
“From the moment we [insert shared memory or moment], I knew you were special. You make me feel [emotion], and you’ve shown me [value or lesson].
I love the way you [quirky habit or unique trait], and how you always [loving behavior].
Today, I promise to [serious vow]. I also promise to [funny or personal vow].
No matter what life brings us, I will always [long-term promise].
I choose you today, tomorrow, and always.”
💡 Tips to Make Your Vows Extra Special
Want your vows to really shine? Try these tips:
1. Keep it short & sweet
Aim for 1–2 minutes max (about 150–250 words). Anything longer, and you might start rambling or lose your audience.
2. Write it out
Don’t wing it. Even if you memorize your vows, write them down to stay grounded in the moment. You can use a vow book (super cute!) or print them on cardstock.
3. Speak from the heart, not a Hallmark card
Avoid phrases that sound like movie lines or clichés. Your own words — even if they’re simple — will be more powerful than anything you could copy from the internet.
4. Read it out loud
Practice! Saying your vows aloud helps you hear the rhythm, catch awkward phrases, and feel more confident when the time comes.
💬 Funny Vow Ideas (Because Laughter = Love)
Don’t be afraid to sprinkle in some humor — it’s real, it’s memorable, and it lightens the emotional load.
Here are some lighthearted vow lines to inspire you:
“I vow to always make you coffee, even if I’m mad at you.”
“I promise to watch your favorite shows, even when I don’t get them.”
“I vow to never keep score… even when I’m totally winning.”
A little giggle goes a long way in keeping the moment relaxed and joyful. 😊
💡 What If You’re Too Nervous to Speak?
You’re not alone. If you're worried about speaking in front of people, here are a few options:
Do a private vow reading before the ceremony with just your partner
Have your officiant read your vows on your behalf
Write letters to each other to read privately before the ceremony
Remember: there’s no rulebook. Do what feels good for you.
📚 Real Vow Example from a Recent Couple
“You are my calm in the storm and the joy in my everyday life. I promise to walk beside you in all seasons, hold space for your dreams, and laugh with you when life gets weird — which we both know it will. I vow to never stop holding your hand, even when we’re old and cranky.”
Simple. Real. Romantic. That’s the magic combo. ✨
👰🏽♀️ Bonus: Vow Help from Your Officiant (That’s Me!)
If you’re still feeling stuck, don’t stress — this is something I help my couples with all the time. I can:
Walk you through vow-writing prompts
Help edit or polish your drafts
Create a custom script that blends your vows into your ceremony seamlessly
Whether you’re writing them separately or as a surprise, I’ve got your back.
💞 Final Thoughts
Writing your own wedding vows isn’t about being the best writer — it’s about being honest. It’s okay if your voice shakes. It’s okay if your grammar isn’t perfect. The only thing that matters is that it’s you speaking from the heart.
So take a deep breath, grab a pen, and start writing. You’ve got this. 🖊
